


One-liners

by Ionah



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Boredom, M/M, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-10-16
Updated: 2004-10-16
Packaged: 2017-10-11 18:16:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ionah/pseuds/Ionah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney has needs. A kinda, sorta missing scene for Suspicion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One-liners

"At least your mouth still works fine."

Hah. Rodney swiveled around in his seat as Elizabeth entered the room, determined to forget Sheppard's words.

But that night, at midnight, he still hadn't erased the image those words had conjured in his mind. He wanted to prove to Sheppard how right he was, had wanted to do so from their first--okay, not really, but maybe second, and positively by their third--meeting.

Sheppard was one of those people that grew on you.

Not that Rodney had much experience dealing with that sort. People had a tendency to be intimidated by his intelligence and charm, and it wasn't often that Rodney liked a person well enough to make an effort to put someone at ease around himself.

He certainly wanted to put Major Sheppard at ease.

He pushed back the covers and turned to hang his legs over the side of the bed. Between one breath and the next, he started to get to his feet, then changed his mind and sat back down, but before his ass did more than graze the mattress, he jumped back up.

What was the big deal? If Sheppard--John--turned him down, it wasn't like it would break his heart or anything.

It was just sex.

Sex.

Okay, maybe some cuddling too, but only because John would probably expect something like that.

And kisses.

Oh, yeah. Because John had a pair of lips that brought all kinds of dirty things to mind.

Rodney reached for his pajama bottoms at the foot of the bed and slipped them on. With a quick look around, and a muttered oath at the lack of foresight on his part that meant his only bottle of lube was still sitting in his apartment in the bathroom cabinet, he knotted the drawstring of his pjs around his waist and shuffled to the door.

Damn bunny slippers. If they hadn't been a going-away present from his hottie of a next-door neighbor, he'd have thrown them out. Maybe he should have considered leaving them behind anyway. He was in another galaxy after all. It wasn't like she'd ever find out what happened to the pink and gray fur balls.

But nah. He couldn't do that. She was watching Oscar for him, so she clearly had a few redeeming qualities, despite having absolutely no taste--and even less intelligence.

Oh, well. At least she had her looks.

Rodney took a deep breath before stepping up to the threshold of his door.

If anybody caught him wandering the halls, he would claim insomnia.

And he wouldn't even be lying.

Rodney looked both ways before he walked out into the corridor, but with the Athosians all sticking to their designated areas now, there wasn't anyone to catch him sneaking around Atlantis.

Well, no one except Elizabeth.

"Dr. McKay," she said, sounding surprised. Her gaze wandered over his t-shirt covered chest and blue silk pajama bottoms, and her eyes seemed to hang at floor level.

Either she was acting shy so he wouldn't realize she was attracted to him, or she wanted his slippers.

Maybe if things didn't work out with John tonight, he'd rethink his--nah. Elizabeth Weir wasn't his type. For one, he actually thought she had half a brain in her head, even if she didn't seem to be using it all that much lately. This thing with the Athosians... Stupid, stupid, stupid...

Not that John was dumb. That wasn't what he'd meant at all. John just... had a way about him. Oh, forget it. John Sheppard was hot and that was all he had to say on the matter.

Elizabeth's gaze slowly returned to Rodney's face. "You're up late," she said.

"Yep," he said.

When he made no further comment, Elizabeth tilted her chin forward, in a not-so-subtle prompt.

Rodney frowned.

One corner of Elizabeth's mouth turned down, and then she shook her head. "Well, okay, then. Have a good night."

"Sure," he said. Without further ado, he walked away, already turning his attention back to remembering which way led to John's quarters.

He tried not to be too obvious when he stopped in front of John's door. Interestingly enough, only those with the ATA gene had been able to actually lock their doors. And not so amazingly, Rodney discovered that John had chosen to do just that.

So much for his plan to remain inconspicuous.

A single member of the Atlantis team walked down the corridor in Rodney's direction. Rodney looked down at his fingernails, and almost started whistling before he thought about how asinine he'd look.

As the soldier passed, Rodney looked up and flashed a two-second smile. He was pleasantly surprised when the man barely spared a glance for him. Although... he'd seen a flicker there, for half a moment.

When the corridor was empty once again, Rodney turned to John's door and knocked. "Psssst, Major Sheppard...."

The door opened in front of Rodney to show John standing beside his bed in a pair of loose shorts, a white undershirt, and a pair of white socks.

When he saw Rodney, his eyebrows shot up. "Interesting outfit," he said.

"You wouldn't happen to be missing someone back home, would you?"

"Not really. Why?"

"Oh, I don't know. Just wondering, I guess." Then Rodney thought about the fact that it was already after mid-night and that he had to get up bright and early in the morning. He realized he was going to have to skip the preliminaries in the interests of saving time.

"Have you ever considered having sex with another man? Purely in the interest of making-do until we have time to develop relationships with amenable women, of course."

John nodded. "Oh, of course." Then he kept nodding until he finally said, "What makes you think I'd be interested in doing it with a guy?"

"Well--well, why not?" Rodney cursed the whine in his voice, but persevered. "Women want all that... that stuff, you know? We don't have time for that right now."

"Ah. Of course."

John's short answer gave Rodney a bad feeling about his entire plan of attack. Maybe he should have tried the male-bonding thing first. He tried to think of reasons why John might be averse to what he was offering.

"You don't actually want Teyla, do you?" Then Rodney's eyes widened. "Or, God forbid, Elizabeth?"

His horror at the idea apparently got through to John, because John said, in a tone that dared Rodney to deny his words, "What's wrong with Elizabeth? She has a great pair of boobs."

"And I have a nice ass, so what's the problem?"

"You have a nice ass?" John eyebrows scrunched together before his gaze dropped to Rodney's crotch. "Turn around."

"Why?"

"You don't expect me to take your word for it, do you?"

"Oh, don't tell me you haven't looked."

"I'll have you know, I don't make it a habit to run around checking out other guy's asses."

Rodney narrowed his eyes. He didn't believe it for a minute, but he slowly turned around anyway, wondering if he was being a sucker to fall for John's innocent act.

"Hey!" Rodney jerked around to glare at John, who raised his hands in a who-me? gesture.

"Having a nice ass is about more than looking good in a pair of pants." Then John grinned and waved his hand at Rodney's pj covered bottom. "Not that those things are all that flattering on you."

"Of course they're flattering. They're silk." And that explained everything as far as Rodney was concerned. "You know, can we just skip the pleasantries? I'm kind of tired, but I'd really like to have sex before I go back to my room and go to sleep."

"Oh, okay. Why don't you just take off your pants and get in bed then, huh?"

Rodney's eyebrows pulled together, but he reached for the drawstrings holding his pjs up.

John grabbed Rodney's hands. "Whoa! I was being facetious! You're not supposed to actually drop your pants."

"So what are you trying to say?"

John sighed, and for the first time, he seemed to take Rodney seriously.

Rodney wasn't exactly pleased, because he could tell from the look on John's face that he was about to have to reconsider reconsidering Elizabeth after all.

"Look, McKay, I don't know what gave you the idea that I'd be--" John waved his hand in Rodney's direction. "Interested, but you've got the wrong idea." John shrugged apologetically. "I don't go in for the guy-on-guy thing."

Rodney felt disappointment curl in his gut. "Well, then," he said. He stood looking at John looking at him for a moment before he turned around. He had to concentrate to swallow past the knot in his throat.

He hadn't expected to be quite so disappointed.

He shuffled to the door, but it didn't open right away like he'd come to expect and he almost stepped forward too fast.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"Oh, hell, Rodney, I'm just teasing you. Get back over here."

Rodney jerked around to stare at John's smart-ass grin. "I knew it! I knew it. 'At least your mouth still works fine.' You were flirting with me all along!" And he couldn't hold back another iteration of, "I knew it."

"Not before I did, you didn't." John yanked his white undershirt over his head, exposing sleek musculature and faintly tanned skin. "What did you have in mind? Hand jobs or blowjobs?"

Rodney eyed the streak of hair that trailed away under the edge of John's shorts.

John's voice went husky and dark. "Or something a little more satisfying?"

John's flash of teeth made Rodney's breath come faster.

"'Cause you were right." John stepped forward and put his hand on Rodney's hip. "Those pants really do flatter your ass."

THE END


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